Thanks to the kindest soul in the world, David, for transcribing it for us! Disclaimer: These transcripts were provided by listeners: transcripts are not officially provided by "Dr Laura."
Call transcript, Dr. Laura, May 22, transcribed by a listener from the archive link on
www.drlaura.com/listen
Scroll forward on the audio to the start time of 42:43
LS: Michelle, welcome to the program.
M: Hi, Dr. Laura.
LS: Hi, Michelle.
M: I also am my kid's mother.
LS: Excellent.
M: And, um, I have another wedding conflict for you.
LS: Well, this is the month or two.
M: It certainly is, uhm, it's not my wedding, uhm I have, between two of my sisters
LS: Well, then, why are you in the middle?
M: Well, I don'tI
LS: The answer to your call is going to be, "You have no opinion."
M: I do have an opinion.
LS: No, you have no opinion. That way you're not in the middle.
M: Oh well
LS: Listen, you have an opinion, you alienate one of your two sisters. What's the point of that?
M: Absolutely.
LS: So what's the point of that?
M: Yea, I understand. It's difficult though.
LS: Then you're going to call me back and tell me, "Oh, I've alienated one of my sisters, how do I make it better?" I don't know.
M: But if you have to choose
LS: You don't have to choose. It isn't your wedding.
M: I guess I would need to choose if I attend.
LS: Attend the wedding!?
M: Or not attend.
LS: One of your sisters wants you to boycott the wedding of the other sister and you would do that?
M: Uhm, not, no one's asked me to.
LS: Then why are you saying you'd have to choose whether or not to go to the wedding?
M: Because of the situation that the one has put the other in.
LS: What does that have to do with you?
M: I'm part of the family. It's over..
LS: Oh, I see, everybody goes to war! That's the definition of a family?
M: Mmyaa
LS: We make sides immediately?
M: But don't I need to support the one I think is doing the right thing?
LS: Well, it depends what the wrong thing being done is or if it's just a matter of opinion and preference. So let's hear what it is.
M: Well, um, the one sister that's getting married, she and her fianc have decided to exclude my nephew
LS: And how old is your nephew?
M: My nephew is twelve years old.
LS: Because?
M: Because he has some disabilities that I think they're afraid of ...
LS: And what disability is that?
M: He has Tourette's Syndrome.
LS: And he's not under control?
M: Uhm, nnnaa, off and on. Off and on
LS: So you think it is correct to be mad at them, that it's their wedding, that they'd like to not have a kid who's physically under, uh, a lack of control and will scream out vul-gar-i-ties in the middle of the wedding and you think it's wrong to exclude them? Michelle, you smoke something funny?
M: No, no, but just being the only one, you know ...
LS: Well gee, if you line up your other relatives with Tourette's we can keep them home, too, but since this is the only one, and he's not under control, it is out-rageous to call that, quote, a disability, that should be tolerated at a wedding!!!
M: Ya
LS: F-YOU AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PRAYERS!
M: Exactly, and that could possibly ...
LS: Right, so they are under all of their RIGHTS to not want that to happen and for your other sister to say, my child, out of control or not, is outrageous. You're siding with the *wrong* sister, if you have to side at all. You picked the *wrong* sister.
M: Really? Well I mean I haven't ...
LS: I said it three times and then explained it out once. Now you sound surprised.
M: I'm sorry, I just feel bad
LS: Well, I'm going to come to your party and just scream F-YOU, F-YOU, F-YOU every five seconds and see if you want to invite me back.
M: Ya, but I guess if someone was in a wheelchair, and they might need special ...
LS: What does that have to do with it! We're not talking about somebody in a wheelchair!
M: No we're not.
LS: If you broke both his legs and he was in a wheelchair, of course he should be invited and your sister would not be uninviting him.
M: Ya..
LS: What she doesn't want is the F-You-Hmm. Right?
M: Yea ...
LS: And you think she's wrong to not want that in the middle of a church. Isn't she a terrible person?!
M: It's not a church but it's still not the point. I see your point
LS: Yes. It's inappropriate behaviour no matter what's engendering it. And if he's not under control with medicine or behavioural mechanisms, then he shouldn't be there.
M: She wants to stay home with her kids ...
LS: Well she can be that way if she wants. She can punish the whole world, because of this unfortunate affliction of her son. She can now punish everybody else who doesn't want to call this normal. It's not normal!
M: I know, it's not normal
LS: And it's not nice. And it's sad. It is very sad. But there are certain events, you know what, you're not going to be allowed in the Bolshoi Ballet, if you're in a wheelchair.
M: Should she explain that, as to why they're not coming to the wedding ...
LS: I suggest you talk to your sister who has the Tourette's kid and say, "Look, we love your kid, I love your kid, you love your kid, that's not the point, but there are certain things your kid cannot participate in now that he's not under control, and you need to be understanding past your own kid. You need to know there's a world out there that has entitlements also, not just you. You need to not demand that the world make believe that your kid doesn't have Tourette's."
M: Yea ...
LS: We can't make believe. She goes to doctors, right? She's trying to fix it, right? That means there's something wrong, right?
M: Yes
LS: If he had flaming TB and was sneezing and coughing all over the place, would we bring him into the wedding?
M: Oh, I see ... Ok.
LS: Is that discriminatory against TB?!
M: Uhm, ya, I see your point ...Well, ok, I will forward your information along to her. I mean, she has not asked my opinion, I just ...
LS: Well then, as I said in the beginning of our call, keep out of it. If you're asked, put your arm around her and do the, "We love him, you love him, but we have responsibilities to other people, not just to our injured children."
M: Should she tell them? Because they're coming in from out of state during this time ...
LS: Should who tell what? You have all these pronouns, dear, I don't know who you mean.
M: Attending the wedding.
LS: I'm sorry, I still don't know what you're talking about.
M: It's just my sister has chosen ...
LS: Which sister?
M: The sister with the Tourette's child, has decided, you know, that, you know, that their family will not attend.
LS: Ok, then I'm sure she has sent the RS-VIP back that they're not attending. Keep out of it, woman. I'm Dr. Laura, 1-800-DR. LAURA. Comparing that to somebody simply in a wheelchair? Come on! You know? When there are things that you have to deal with in yourself, your children, your spouses, that doesn't alleviate you of an obligation to the community at large. You have to balance that. And there are certain times and places that certain things just won't fly. As I said, if he were under control, not a problem. Not a problem. There are people with Tourette's who have the proper medicine, they have learned behavioural modification, and they-are-un-der-con-trol. And if they feel that they are not, they can walk out of the room, do what they need to do, pull themselves together, come back in and par-ti-ci-pate. But if you're not under control, then you have to be compassionate to other people, and sensitive to them also. It doesn't go just one way. I know in our society it does. But that's silly
Scroll to the next post for the May 25th transcript.
Call transcript, Dr. Laura, May 22, transcribed by a listener from the archive link on
www.drlaura.com/listen
Scroll forward on the audio to the start time of 42:43
LS: Michelle, welcome to the program.
M: Hi, Dr. Laura.
LS: Hi, Michelle.
M: I also am my kid's mother.
LS: Excellent.
M: And, um, I have another wedding conflict for you.
LS: Well, this is the month or two.
M: It certainly is, uhm, it's not my wedding, uhm I have, between two of my sisters
LS: Well, then, why are you in the middle?
M: Well, I don'tI
LS: The answer to your call is going to be, "You have no opinion."
M: I do have an opinion.
LS: No, you have no opinion. That way you're not in the middle.
M: Oh well
LS: Listen, you have an opinion, you alienate one of your two sisters. What's the point of that?
M: Absolutely.
LS: So what's the point of that?
M: Yea, I understand. It's difficult though.
LS: Then you're going to call me back and tell me, "Oh, I've alienated one of my sisters, how do I make it better?" I don't know.
M: But if you have to choose
LS: You don't have to choose. It isn't your wedding.
M: I guess I would need to choose if I attend.
LS: Attend the wedding!?
M: Or not attend.
LS: One of your sisters wants you to boycott the wedding of the other sister and you would do that?
M: Uhm, not, no one's asked me to.
LS: Then why are you saying you'd have to choose whether or not to go to the wedding?
M: Because of the situation that the one has put the other in.
LS: What does that have to do with you?
M: I'm part of the family. It's over..
LS: Oh, I see, everybody goes to war! That's the definition of a family?
M: Mmyaa
LS: We make sides immediately?
M: But don't I need to support the one I think is doing the right thing?
LS: Well, it depends what the wrong thing being done is or if it's just a matter of opinion and preference. So let's hear what it is.
M: Well, um, the one sister that's getting married, she and her fianc have decided to exclude my nephew
LS: And how old is your nephew?
M: My nephew is twelve years old.
LS: Because?
M: Because he has some disabilities that I think they're afraid of ...
LS: And what disability is that?
M: He has Tourette's Syndrome.
LS: And he's not under control?
M: Uhm, nnnaa, off and on. Off and on
LS: So you think it is correct to be mad at them, that it's their wedding, that they'd like to not have a kid who's physically under, uh, a lack of control and will scream out vul-gar-i-ties in the middle of the wedding and you think it's wrong to exclude them? Michelle, you smoke something funny?
M: No, no, but just being the only one, you know ...
LS: Well gee, if you line up your other relatives with Tourette's we can keep them home, too, but since this is the only one, and he's not under control, it is out-rageous to call that, quote, a disability, that should be tolerated at a wedding!!!
M: Ya
LS: F-YOU AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PRAYERS!
M: Exactly, and that could possibly ...
LS: Right, so they are under all of their RIGHTS to not want that to happen and for your other sister to say, my child, out of control or not, is outrageous. You're siding with the *wrong* sister, if you have to side at all. You picked the *wrong* sister.
M: Really? Well I mean I haven't ...
LS: I said it three times and then explained it out once. Now you sound surprised.
M: I'm sorry, I just feel bad
LS: Well, I'm going to come to your party and just scream F-YOU, F-YOU, F-YOU every five seconds and see if you want to invite me back.
M: Ya, but I guess if someone was in a wheelchair, and they might need special ...
LS: What does that have to do with it! We're not talking about somebody in a wheelchair!
M: No we're not.
LS: If you broke both his legs and he was in a wheelchair, of course he should be invited and your sister would not be uninviting him.
M: Ya..
LS: What she doesn't want is the F-You-Hmm. Right?
M: Yea ...
LS: And you think she's wrong to not want that in the middle of a church. Isn't she a terrible person?!
M: It's not a church but it's still not the point. I see your point
LS: Yes. It's inappropriate behaviour no matter what's engendering it. And if he's not under control with medicine or behavioural mechanisms, then he shouldn't be there.
M: She wants to stay home with her kids ...
LS: Well she can be that way if she wants. She can punish the whole world, because of this unfortunate affliction of her son. She can now punish everybody else who doesn't want to call this normal. It's not normal!
M: I know, it's not normal
LS: And it's not nice. And it's sad. It is very sad. But there are certain events, you know what, you're not going to be allowed in the Bolshoi Ballet, if you're in a wheelchair.
M: Should she explain that, as to why they're not coming to the wedding ...
LS: I suggest you talk to your sister who has the Tourette's kid and say, "Look, we love your kid, I love your kid, you love your kid, that's not the point, but there are certain things your kid cannot participate in now that he's not under control, and you need to be understanding past your own kid. You need to know there's a world out there that has entitlements also, not just you. You need to not demand that the world make believe that your kid doesn't have Tourette's."
M: Yea ...
LS: We can't make believe. She goes to doctors, right? She's trying to fix it, right? That means there's something wrong, right?
M: Yes
LS: If he had flaming TB and was sneezing and coughing all over the place, would we bring him into the wedding?
M: Oh, I see ... Ok.
LS: Is that discriminatory against TB?!
M: Uhm, ya, I see your point ...Well, ok, I will forward your information along to her. I mean, she has not asked my opinion, I just ...
LS: Well then, as I said in the beginning of our call, keep out of it. If you're asked, put your arm around her and do the, "We love him, you love him, but we have responsibilities to other people, not just to our injured children."
M: Should she tell them? Because they're coming in from out of state during this time ...
LS: Should who tell what? You have all these pronouns, dear, I don't know who you mean.
M: Attending the wedding.
LS: I'm sorry, I still don't know what you're talking about.
M: It's just my sister has chosen ...
LS: Which sister?
M: The sister with the Tourette's child, has decided, you know, that, you know, that their family will not attend.
LS: Ok, then I'm sure she has sent the RS-VIP back that they're not attending. Keep out of it, woman. I'm Dr. Laura, 1-800-DR. LAURA. Comparing that to somebody simply in a wheelchair? Come on! You know? When there are things that you have to deal with in yourself, your children, your spouses, that doesn't alleviate you of an obligation to the community at large. You have to balance that. And there are certain times and places that certain things just won't fly. As I said, if he were under control, not a problem. Not a problem. There are people with Tourette's who have the proper medicine, they have learned behavioural modification, and they-are-un-der-con-trol. And if they feel that they are not, they can walk out of the room, do what they need to do, pull themselves together, come back in and par-ti-ci-pate. But if you're not under control, then you have to be compassionate to other people, and sensitive to them also. It doesn't go just one way. I know in our society it does. But that's silly
Scroll to the next post for the May 25th transcript.
